Heart Stuff

Every time I attempt to write a somewhat cohesive blog entry, I end up failing. There is just too much going on here for me to successfully unify my thoughts into one small blog post. I can't even begin to explain all of the great things that have been happening. Once I begin writing about one thing, I remember another equally amazing thing I want to talk about. Maybe I'll just start with this week. Let's see...

Three weeks into lectures and my notebook is falling to pieces.

This week we had a native New Zealander named David Cole speak during lectures. He spoke about repentance, the Life and Ministry of Jesus, and the Nature and Character of God; things I knew in my mind but had never really thought about or had laid out in front of me. David defined 'God's Nature' as who God is- His natural attributes, and 'God's character' as what He does with who He is. Some of the things listed under nature are: Omnipresent- He's everywhere, all the time; Omniscient- He's all knowing; Omnipotent- all powerful; and He's eternal. Some words that are listed under character are: Humble; LOVE; Just; Righteous; Faithful; Merciful; Kind; Truthful; Patient; and Wise. Stepping back and looking again at the notes I took in my red notebook (that is already falling apart after only three weeks of being here) I'm overwhelmed by the truth that even though God's nature is all powerful, all knowing, and ever present- He CHOOSES to be humble, righteous, and kind. A God that could be anything he wants in the world and get away with it, chooses to be the kindest being that exists. Something David said that had never registered in my mind before was that God has a personality. God consciously makes decisions and feels emotions like grief, joy, sadness and jealousy. And like, He's REAL. Whoa, people.

Anyways, David's week with us was filled with so many of these crazy revelations for me. I could write a novel on all the things I learned and all the things God changed in my heart because of David's messages.

Though most afternoons are free or spent doing things with the group, Wednesday afternoons are ones I specifically look forward to- JUSTICE CLASS. From 1:30-4:00ish I am in class with the rest of the students on the Justice team and our staff. Justice class is even more exciting now that our groups know where we're going on outreach... I think every last one of us is already dying to go to Cambodia. This Wednesday our topic in class was Genocide.Unbeknownst to me, less than 40 years ago Cambodia endured a massive genocide that ended in the country losing over 20% of their population. The Cambodian Genocide began because Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge (a communist leader and group) seized control of Cambodia and desired to turn it into a farming nation- Pol Pot wanted to make everyone into peasants. In order to do this, the Khmer Rouge removed any undesirable people that would not positively contribute to this peasant society. To Pol Pot this meant anyone who had talent, knowledge, or intelligence. This group of communist killers began persecuting, torturing, and killing. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, professionals, religious enthusiasts, and really anyone educated were subject to huge killing sprees. Men, women, elderly, and children were forced to work in slave labor camps everyday for 16+ hours without rest, food and water, or even pay. Many died from exhaustion, starvation, and disease. For three years the Cambodian people endured horrible torture and deaths. In class on Wednesday, we heard stories of the Killing Fields- sites where massive amounts of people were killed by the Khmer Rouge- stories of babies being beaten against trees until they died, of people falling into pre-dug pits to die their certain death. Countless heart-breaking stories have been told. And that's just what it was to me- heart-breaking. Not only does the people-loving person I am cringe and crumble at the thought of these lost lives, but God revealed to me how broken HIS heart was for them as well.

Wednesday was just the tip of the iceberg in learning about Cambodia, but already my heart longs to be there and spread some love and healing. This is such a hurting and lost country. In the next weeks we will continue to learn about injustice in Cambodia, as well as other injustices around the world. Soon we will begin preparing a budget for our 8 weeks in Cambodia and hopefully learning more about what exactly we'll be doing there- I'll keep you all updated on that process.

It's always horrifying to hear these things, and I assure you that I (along with the rest of the world) wish it would just go away and never have happened. But it did. These things happened. And now all we can do is go to the people who are so deeply hurt and broken and share with them the only hope there is for real healing- Jesus. There is only one hope for love, comfort, and redemption. God is dying to make their hearts whole again. I have to let them know!


Do you want to let them know as well?! Please contact me if you would like to support me in my trip to Cambodia! I still need 2,000 dollars for Outreach fees. Bless you guys heaps :)



Love Always, Holly